Comfort you!

An ode to my comfort food chilli paneer...

           

I made it. It was tasty and comforting to me.

INTRO:

I made myself my comfort food a week ago. It was terrible. Not JUST because I am terrible at cooking, but also because I was out of red chilli sauce. I like my chilli paneer like my aunty's zabaan (teekhi).

I was going crazy today as well. I made it again and Ahhhh... If there's heaven on earth, I was in one while eating it. Not exaggerating, it's just what comfort food is supposed to do to you.

Then I was watching Mystic Pop-up bar.

"People can live as long as they have one person who listens to them"

Right?

Our COMFORT PERSON.

We all go through days when we don't feel like getting up from bed. When our mood rides a roller coaster. When we are constantly irritated and frustrated. When we get angry over silliest things. When we don't feel like explaining but still want someone to understand us. When our head is not the only place our mind is at. When the world becomes strange and feelings overwhelm us.

Especially these days. In this tough time nothing is clear, nothing is straight. The path ahead looks like a giant jalebi, oversized just right to fit the kadhai it is being made in. (I love imarti can't use it to metaphorize confusion)

At times like these, we all need someone or something that provides the warmth and comfort that's missing. I know it's just temporary pleasure but trust me, nothing other than this can help us hang in there. Without that tinka, the dubta will have no sahara. 

It's okay to take a breathe. It's okay to rest for a while. And in due course, It's okay to take support. We are humans, born to live together, lift each other. It's okay to reach our hands to feel a breeze of positivity and stand back to fight again.

Your source of comfort doesn't have to be just food.

My obsession with my comfort food is very new. It began in this lockdown and I am pretty sure it will end after I start eating street food again. When that happens, everything that's cheap and available around my home will become my comfort food. (Hint: Golgappe <3)

Other comfort to me is F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

I completed all 10 seasons. Cried my eyeballs out in the last episode. Longed for a joey to my phoebe. And still wanna know why the fuck was the Rachel X Joey thing there. 

I also completed The Big Bang Theory. I genuinely laughed and fell for Sheldon. But also wanted Raj to end up with someone. If you are someone like Rajesh Koothrappali, trust me you deserve all the love you want.

Watched some comforting kdramas. Won't lie, they make you go nuts. They make you laugh, cringe, and cry. It's Okay That's Love, When the camellia blooms, Mystic Pop-up bar. If you are someone who suffers from mental illness, watch them. I fell in love with life all over again. My faith in kindness and honesty is restored again. And yeah, the believe that love saves us all, is renewed again. Give them a try, you will feel the warmth.

The one thing that calms my nerves down every frigging time, MUSIC.

And the dance comes along.

Do I really have to put in words what music does to my body, mind and soul?

Okay lemme try.

It takes me out of the darkness and leads me to a path that gives me the peace to choose one that will end up to light. It breaks me free from my perceptions, superstitions and worries. Gives me the freedom to express myself as raw as I can. Turns my heart inside out and gives new meaning to life,

It's getting cringy.

You know music and dance are arts. Art heals. I would have also drawn and painted if only I didn't have a 6 year old's art skills. But I do draw mountains, a river coming out of 'em, a house, a well (I know it makes no sense but it doesn't have to), a figure that looks like a human but even I doubt what I draw, a sun with it's rays long-short-long-short, and the v-shaped birds.

My brother plays games. So do my friends. They say it releases stress so it's their comfort. My mother watches old movies. I am 100% sure that's what's making it difficult for me to change her old-style thinking. Some people like reading and I don't wanna mock my friends but non of them is a book-worm. I like writing. You are reading what I wrote and trust me I write when I am totally vulnerable. It just heals me to write out my mind. 

I was 6 year old. I remember having many friends. No best friend tbh. Everyone felt like best to me. 

I was 10 year old. I then had a group of really close friends. They all felt trustworthy. 

I was 13 year old. I longed for a true friend.

A friend who'll be there, always. Someone I would be able to trust with my raw self. Someone who I'll be able to look up to when I am down. Someone whose smile and a mere 'It's okay' will be enough to feel okay.

Isn't that when you realise that having a person by your side is a comfort. I think out of all the comforts that this life blesses us with, a person, a warm heart, is real gold.

I feel blessed to say, I have, not one, but two comforting people in my life. Anvi and Anushka.

No combination of 26 alphabets will ever be enough to express what they mean to me. I am kidding they aren't that great lol.

I can't count how many times I have drunk(on my tears)-called them. No matter what the reason might be. Can't remember how many stupid conversations we have had when one of us was down. It's astounding how a person's voice can bring peace to my irregular heartaches. 

I remember how Anushka's voice from a several hundred miles away kept me from making stupid decisions. How talking to her was enough for me to hold on. How she made me hope, made me believe in myself when I couldn't on my own.

While I was going through a very tough time in depression, the one thing I looked forward to was meeting Anvi in the evening and taking a walk. You won't understand how blissful it feels to a person having hard time to look forward to the next day because if nothing does moves us to, we might not see the tomorrow.

You too must be having someone by your side. A friend, a family member, a teacher, a virtual friend, maybe siri, just someone. They are the real comforts. You won't notice, but what they do to you is beyond magic. 

OUTRO:

I know we are going through a lot. 2020 is the worst. Gaaliyaan to 2020. But you know, we are stronger than this. We are in this TOGETHER. We have each other. We have to be there for each other. Seek comfort. Sing that song, eat that food, set the dance floor on fire, draw your dreams, paint your imagination, watch that movie, binge that show, talk with your family, spend quality time with parents, call a friend, video call them and show your bored hua face, laugh at each other, make plans and cancel them right then and there. SEEK COMFORT. REACH OUT.

You don't have to be strong everyday, but don't give up either. Just give yourself a break and comfort. Giving up is never the option and that's the only rule. 

You might not have someone now, but remember, there are always other things. So, just take a breathe, and keep breathin' and breathin' and breathin' and breathin'.

Ps- I hope I gave you a little comfort by reminding you that you are allowed to seek comfort and that it's really what you have to do right now. Also, I miss jalebi :)

Comment down the other things that give you comfort <3