Losing Friends

INTRO:

This is to hundreds of friends that I met and then let go. I appreciate all of you. You have been in my life and have contributed so much. Although we might not have ended things on a good note, I hope we only have good wishes for each other. xx

Have you ever lost a friend? Did you lose someone because you shifted to a new place or they did? Did you lose someone because your classes shuffled and you both ended in different sections? Did you lose someone because you changed your school? Did you lose someone because of misunderstandings? Or did you lose someone just because you stopped vibing and grew apart with time? 

If yes, this is for you. 

My father has a transferable job. I have changed more states than I have changed my hairstyles lol. I have made many friends and then have also bid them farewell. Again and again. 

 

Let's think of 2 scenarios. 

1) You guys parted due to reasons which were not in your hands. 

2) You guys separated because of something one of you did. 

1.

When you have to shift to a new place because your parents had to. Wish we had it in our hands to decide which place our families settled in. But it's not. So no matter how much you cry, break things, hug the walls of your house or even try to run away at the railway station, you will have to go away. And it's sad. 

Friends that part this way, mostly find each other on social media apps. I mean, that's what happened to me, we weren't using instagram when we were in 4th or 6th class. Altho it's possible you were already connected on social media but I found them later on. And oh God my happiness was on another level. I was sooooooo happy. I agree that the conversations only lasted like 2 days, but it did feel like "Oh there's someone out there who knows us and keeps us in their memory." 

Isn't it beautiful? To be remembered by someone. To be a part of someone's childhood memories. It's just so heartwarming.

These friendships mostly end up being once in a year birthday wish things, but that too has its own charm. So, if you have a friend like that, look them up, add them on your social media. It's okay if you don't talk to them often. Just stay connected. I swear after many years they will see you and you will see them and it will be so nostalgic. 

But if you don't find them, it's okay. Everything in life happens for a reason. You came to a new place, made new friends and lost contact of old friends. That's okay. The beauty in having lived those times with them will last forever. So, keep them in your hearts. Years later when you are telling your kids stories of childhood, they will pop up and you will laugh. So keep them in your heart and live on with the friends you have in your present.

Also, kya pta Yeh Jawani Hai deewani jaise kuch magical turn of events ho and you all become closer than before. 

Special mention- Sneha, I still miss your lame jokes. We will meet soon and crack even more lame jokes! 

2.

The complicated part. Losing friends due to fcked up reasons. I shouldn't mention the reasons because then this blog will become so long, you'll leave it in between. But mostly the reasons are bitter, right? 

I have lost some friends to reasons such as jealousy, fights, dhokha (hindi to emphasise). 

Kinda messed up how your friends can act in ways you could have never imagined of. It hurts bad. And moving on from them is so difficult. 

I used to blame myself for things. But the awkwardness between us became so dense, I never took a step ahead. Except for once. Anvi. (if you follow me on insta, you know her, she is in half of my pictures lol) We fought. And then talked shit about each other behind each other's backs. But you know what, she is one sole person I CAN NOT afford to lose. I can be alright without her, but I will lose a part of me with losing her. So I texted. I sent that message to resolve the mess. And trust me she was waiting to do that too lol. 

I once advised someone to do the same. It's okay to let go off ur ego for a friendship that strong. Friendship is the easiest thing in the world. But some friends become so important, you even accept dying for them. When fights happen with them, fight to keep them. It's worth it. 

(Obviously leave when they are actually acting bitchy even after you went all out to resolve things.) 

But some friends do things that are just not forgivable. Leave them. The best you can do. Yes it's true that friends help each other get better and show the mirror when needed. But some people have just a toxic personality which you can not change. Come on! You are a friend not a tv remote changing channels.

Moving on from them is not easy. Sometimes you even have to see them everyday. Urrghhhh. When that happens, instantly reach out to your other friends. Not even lying, don't wait, go to another friend. Now, that sounds bitchy. But you are a vulnerable human right now, you need someone. It's okay to choose your happiness over the made up idea of guilt shaming yourself. 

The only way to move ahead is, look ahead. Yes, their memory will haunt you. But time heals everything. You will make new friends, make new memories and live better. Altho there's risk of them turning out shitty too, but darr ke aage jeet hai. lol. "You won't know how something will turn out till you try it for yourself." Repeat this to yourself everytime you start something new. You can't avoid heartbreaks by just not giving your heart to anyone. It will lead to a situation where you will be breaking your own heart. "It's always better to get your heart broken by someone else than to break it yourself because you can't get rid of yourself." hehe

So, the way up is to find new people and try new friendships. It helps. With time, you will realise how happier you are with them and you will forget the old ones. That's the only way out here. Because if you are thinking of crying and diving in guilt, you will only hurt yourself worse. I have done that too. It doesn't help. If you try making them feel bad or take revenge, it just leads to unwanted drama and trauma. Choose peace my friend and let go of negative people. 

Personal note- I love my friends. They are like my family. I'm nothing without them. I am happy that even after losing so many friends, I still chose to make new ones. Not to mention, they have always been better xD.

OUTRO:

'Yeh zindagi bahut lambi hai... aur hamare paas waqt bahut kam hai' - Hum Tum

Don't lose time. Make new friends and live at your fullest with them. Memories, experiences, fill your life with them. Because that's what friends are for. They are the family you choose. Choose them and then keep choosing them.